As special needs moms, there are places we will go where most of our friends never will...
+like the stiff vinyl couch we call our bed night after night in the PICU
+like the hallway where we kiss our babies as they once again get wheeled back for major surgery
+like the genetic counseling office where in the same moment we 1) find out the baby we are carrying has an unexpected diagnosis and 2) are offered termination
+like the IEP meeting where we are informed our child will not be welcome to learn alongside their non-disabled peers
These moments and these places can make what often already feels like a lonely journey even lonelier. These places are where we feel our suspicions are affirmed: that our friends could never truly understand and that we are alone in what we’re walking through.
But we are NOT alone. God is with us in the scariest and the saddest and the loneliest of places.
+He was with Daniel in the lion's den.
+He was with Jonah in the belly of the whale.
+He was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace.
+He was with Stephen as people stoned him to death.
And he is with you in your darkest , hardest moments as a special needs parent.
In this community, we love how Psalm 139 assures us that our children are fearfully and wonderfully made. But as special needs moms, I believe we need the preceding verses just as much:
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
So special needs mama, know today that he is with you. He can make the darkest places light. And you are never alone.